Do you want a good relationship with your kids? Go out to the show barn with them. We all know that livestock projects teach responsibility and work ethic, but what better way to teach your child work ethic than to model it for them. Let’s be honest, it isn’t all that much fun to go out to the barn by yourself all of the time. Spending time with your kids and their projects is a great way to bond with them.
We are all busy and I know that at this point the boys can handle their daily chores on their own for the most part. However, they are so much more engaged when we are all in the barn together. Not to mention, they may up and decide to change the feed or some other protocol and you may not know it until the stock
Parents often think they are not allowed to help their children with livestock projects…it drives me crazy.
Over the years, I’ve seen this materialize in many communities. Some leader or parent tells new 4-H parents that the project is only for the kids, no adult assistance. Then parents are walking on eggshells because they worry that are going to get their children in trouble with some 4-H project Gestapo when they are just trying to keep their kid safe.
Don’t misunderstand me, I think 4-H is a wonderful program that offers a multitude of opportunities to young people. Unfortunately, in my experience, at many local levels, the rules get twisted and misinterpreted to the point that leaders and parents buy into this rigid interpretation and then perpetuate it to new members and parents. Instead of building up an entire community of young showmen, people are on the watch for any “wrong-doing parents” who help.
This philosophy results in a huge missed opportunity for family bonding.
You hear all of the time that people wish they could connect with their kids more, that they have a hard time getting them to open up. Shoot, not even open up…just get them to look up from their screens. We all live busy lives and it takes intentionality to get kids to talk.
We’ve made a conscious decision that we won’t have that problem. We can’t rely on only talking with the boys on the way to and from school and sports. That time is simply too short for meaningful conversation. However, it takes quite a while to rinse and blow out a calf. Thus, if you are in the barn with them, you are together longer…they just open up more. Bonus: no need to go to the gym that day because the blower is a great resistance exercise for your arms and you get in lots of squats in if you are blowing right!
Selling cattle and working with kids for so many years has given us the opportunity to see many families that do an amazing job with their kids. It helped us identify the specific ways we wanted to show up for our kids and build the expectations we have for our family. Oh, we have our issues for sure…but we work every day on an open dialog with our kids. The time we spend working together facilitates this.
Have you ever taken a road trip with someone you don’t know well? By the end of the trip, you know their whole life story because you have been cooped up in a vehicle together and what else are you going to do but talk. We are a social species…spending time together naturally encourages conversation.
In an age where parents are fighting a screen for their children’s attention, time spent with their child and the livestock project is more critical than ever.
You don’t need to know anything about the project in order to be involved with it. If they need a hand cleaning a pen, give it to them. Talk to them about what they are learning. If you want to master a topic, teach it. Therefore, give your kids an opportunity to teach you what they are learning. If you are savvy to the project, you’ll be able to gauge their mastery of the subject. If you don’t have a clue about
Families are often pretty close when everyone is actively involved in the project. Is it any wonder? They are a unit of people who spend time together toward a common goal. Of
In reality, many children are not equipped to handle livestock projects all on their own.
This is particularly true when it comes to the larger species. Why would we expect a parent to stand by while their daughter’s steer spooks at something at the fair because it’s the first time he’s been anywhere?
Many parents want to be involved in the lives and interests of their children…Including showing livestock.
There is a big difference between a steer that’s not been worked with and one who needs a little support. This article is not addressing the kid who never had any interest in working with his calf. Nor is it about the parent who does the entire project.
Please take the opportunity to build youth projects and support the bonding that goes on when a family works together. Please do not join with those who are critical of the families who help in the show barn and at the show. Take the stock show industry as an opportunity to make friendships that bridge all age gaps and last a lifetime!
What about Sunday Dinner?
Recently, I was having a discussion with a friend who very much values Sunday dinner with his family. He asked if a big dinner was still a go. I laughed and told him he’d better just get that right out of his head. His Sunday evenings were likely going to be in the barn with pizza for the foreseeable future!
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